Just A Dream
by powerfelicia
Summary: After a terrible dream Rose wakes up in her old bedroom in the Powell Estate. No one else but her can remember the Doctor and everything he's done, it's as if he never existed. Scared that she made it all up, she tries to find proof of his existence, but after awhile it becomes clear that there are none. Was it all in her head? Was it... Just a dream? SHORT HIATUS, BACK BY AUGUST
1. Safe and sound

**A/N: Hello hello, I'm not gonna bore you out with words you really don't wanna read, so let's just get to it; I started to write this story before 'The Name of the Doctor', so neither Clara or the Doctor knew about what she'd done – not about John Hurt. Haha. John Hurt.  
ANYWAYS, so I've decided to make this some sort of AU that takes place awhile after 'Nightmare In Silver', meaning 'The Name of the Doctor never happened, meaning Clara is just an ordinary girl who is not scattered along the Doctor's twisted timeline. Neither does she know about River or regeneration.**

**But this story focuses about Rose, so let's not talk too much Clara. Please, be patient, because I know it will probably be very confusing in the beginning, but it will – hopefully – get better. If you don't understand, just send me a PM and I'll explain or even change the text so it's clearer. **

**Also, English is so not my first language and therefor it can get a little weird with the way I put the words. Like I did there. Hehe. But, please just tell me so that I can get better. Got it? Goooood. Then let's start.**

**_[Disclaimer:_ _I don't own Doctor Who (yet) and all (well, almost all) credit goes to the team that makes that amazing show of ours.]_**

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**- Chapter one -**  
**Safe and sound**

Rose Tyler always had nightmares. Even though it was blurry and changing, the story was always the same; the silhouette of a person that slowly faded away. She stood close, but not close enough. She screamed, begged for the person not to disappear, but it never mattered. She was left to stand alone in the darkness, hearing nothing but silence and feeling very forgotten.

The silhouette always looked different, as if it was different persons leaving her, but she always knew who it was. The Doctor. _Her_ Doctor.

Normally she woke up after that, just to find herself alone in the darkness and the big bed almost swallowed her whole, but this night it was something different. Just as the silhouette faded away a door slammed behind her.

She turned around and found herself standing in a room so big that it had it's own horizon. It seemed to go on forever, almost like the...

Rose bite her lip and chided herself as she finished the sentence. _Almost like the TARDIS_.

The room was empty. It was big, dark and pretty creepy, she had to admit, but it was empty. A part from that, it was something else that didn't seem right.

She turned around and examined it, and then it hit her. Doors. There were way too many doors. The walls pretty much consisted of doors, all in different colours and shapes, but it was doors.

As far as she could see, there were over a thousand of them. How could she not have seen them before? A nagging feeling told her that they hadn't been there before.

Each and every one of them were wide open. Behind them, it was so dark that she couldn't see what was hiding, but she really wanted to find out.

Then she froze. Every door was open, except _one_. It wasn't very big, or beautiful, it just was an ordinary, brown, wooden door. It must've been that one that slammed.

She looked around in the room, trying to espy what was behind the open doors, but the darkness made her blind. She looked back at the closed one again and smirked. Out of all the thousand doors she could've picked, she chose the closed one.

_The human urge_, she thought for herself. _The feeling you get, right in the back of your head. That impulse. That mad little voice telling you to go on. _At least that's what John would've said.

After the Doctor leaving again, the _new_ Doctor thought that he'd probably need a name and since John Smith always had been dear to him – well, that and Alonzo, but there where no way in hell she was calling him Alonzo – he'd picked it. Just like that.

In the beginning, it'd been hard to call him anything but the Doctor, even though she knew he wasn't _her_ Doctor, not the real one, but after awhile she'd gotten used to it.

She stopped just as she reached to door, just to take a breath, then she put her hand on the door knob and twisted. The door didn't open. It was locked.

She continued to twist and started to pull the door, but nothing happened. She sighed and was about to move on to the next one, but then she heard voices. They were coming from inside the door.

Carefully, she leaned closer and put an ear to the wood.

"How could you lie to me?" A woman voice shouted. "Look at me when I'm talking to you! Why would you do that? Why, Rose?"

Rose gasped and took a step back. That was her mother's voice. Yelling. At her. But how could she be here? This was a dream, wasn't it? She backed away from the door and looked at the one on the side. It was open, and just like the other ones, there was nothing but darkness in there. But she couldn't stay out here the whole day.

With careful steps, she walked towards the door, but just as she was about to enter the room the door slammed in her face. She gasped and jumped a step back, staring at the blue painted wood.

_What?_

She tried to twist the door knob, but nothing. It was locked. Just like the first one. Frowning, she moved on to another one, but just as she was about to enter; _slam! _The door closed quicker than she'd ever seen a door close, leaving her staring at painted wood. She didn't even feel the knob anymore, she knew it was locked.

_Okay,_ she thought. _So you wanna play a game?_

Then she started running.

Faster than ever before, she ran down the room and for every door she approached she could hear a loud _slam_ and the door locked. She didn't know for how long she ran, but after what seemed to be a few minutes she started to realize that she reached the doors a bit before they closed. It was only by a second, but it was all she had. She wasn't going to stay in this dark room much longer.

She waited fifteen, maybe twenty doors more, than she threw herself into a room and landed on the floor. The door closed behind her and she could hear it lock. She rose with a smile of triumph.

"Hah!" She shouted at thin air. "Bet ya' didn't see that one coming!"

"Rose!" A familiar voice shouted.

Rose froze. That voice. That exact voice. That was the voice she loved so much. She turned around and stared at him. Even thought he and John looked exactly the same, there was something that made her able to tell them apart.

The Doctor. _Her_ Doctor. He was there. Or... She frowned. She was there. In the TARDIS.

With big eyes, she looked around in the familiar ship and then letting her eyes go back to the familiar Time Lord.

"Doctor?" She whispered, but he didn't seem to hear her. He was looking down at the console, pushing some buttons and holding the hammer.

"Yeah, I'm here!" A blonde woman came around the corner, walking up to the doctor. "You don't have to shout, you know."

"'Course I have", the Doctor answered without looking up. "How else are you suppose to hear me?"

The blonde woman opened her mouth to say something, but then just smiled at him. She took his arm and looked at the monitor.

"Where are we going?"

Rose stared at her, because this woman wasn't just anyone. This woman was her. They were the same. And when she thought about it, she remembered this day. This was the day they visited the Impossible Planet, as the Doctor had called it. The day they'd met the devil.

How?

Had she crossed her own timeline? And how had she managed that?

"Doctor!" She shouted, but just as she suspected; he couldn't hear her. For them, she wasn't there. Not really. She frowned. Was this a memory? Then how could she visit it as if it was real life? The TARDIS felt real under her feet. Even the comfortable smell of iron and _time_ was there.

Then something started to pull her back. Like a strong wind, pulling her backwards, away from the TARDIS. She screamed. She wanted to stay in the TARDIS, with the Doctor, it didn't matter that he couldn't see her – she could see him!

But the invisible force kept on dragging her backwards, making everything around her a blur. A bright light forced her to cover her eyes, but it didn't matter. The light went through her and it hurt. Every inch of her body, every cell, seemed to be filled with light that threatened to pull her body apart and then she woke up.

Still screaming, even though the pain was gone, she sat up fast, like if strings were pulling her.

"Rose!" She could hear her mother shout and in the next second her bedroom door flew open.

"Mom?" Rose stared at her. "What are you doing here?"

"I heard you scream, sweetheart!" Her mother cried. "I thought you were dying!"

Rose shook her head. "No, I mean... What are you doing in my apartment?"

The first time the Doctor left her, she'd bought an apartment. She'd thought it was time for her to become a grown up. When she later came back with John, they'd bought an apartment together. She hadn't really been ready for having a relationship with him – he still wasn't _her_ Doctor – and having different rooms but in the same apartment felt like more than enough.

"_Your_ apartment!" Jackie snorted. "This is _my_ apartment, if someones."

Rose stared at her mother, but then she saw it. It became hard to breathe. She was in her old room. Not the old one in the Tyler Mansion, the old one in Powell Estate. The one she'd lived with her mother in, before the Doctor and before other-universe-Pete.

"Where's John?" She whispered.

"Who's John?" Her mother asked in confusion. "What are you talking about, Rose? Why where you screaming?"

Rose tried to hold back the tears. "Where's the Doctor?"

She was so scared for the answer, the stupid, familiar answer that she'd heard so often.

Jackie stared at her. "_Doctor who?_"


	2. Back at start

**- Chapter two -  
Back at start**

They were back. Back in the Powell Estate. Back in 2005.

Rose sat in her bathrobe in the kitchen, trying to understand what was going on. Her mum was swirling around like a tornado, doing dishes, breakfast and yelling at the same time.

"I thought you were about to die, sweetheart!" She cried as she started the dishwasher. "I've never heard anyone scream like that in my entire life. It could've made the dead come back! But you know what's even worse, Rose? You won't tell me why you screamed! You won't tell me anything and it's driving me mad!"

Rose looked up from her coffee mug. "Okay, mum, you want me to talk? Then hear me talk; we're not supposed to be here. We were in a parallel universe, together with John! Something must've happened, something must've went wrong... Terribly wrong, because you can't just jump between universes! Whatever happened, it's like... It's like _nothing_ happened." She stared out in nothing, letting the thought sink in. What if it never happened? What if she'd never met the Doctor? But then everything that happened, every planet they'd saved, would be lost.

"Sweetheart", Jackie started slowly. "What are you talking about?"

"Mum", Rose whispered, because she didn't dare to ask loudly. "Where's dad?"

Her mum seemed to freeze for a second, a wave of emotions crossed her face, then she pulled a chair out and sat down.

"He's at the cemetery, Rose, you know that", she said in the same voice she'd used when Rose was a child.

Tears fell down Rose's cheeks as she tried to find the right words. "No, mum, he's in parallel universe. He's alive there, and you have a son – his name is Tony – because the Jackie in that universe was killed and became a cyberman and–"

"Stop it!" Her mum shouted and rose from the chair.

"But if you just–"

"No!" Jackie shook her head. "Stop it, Rose, stop it! You're scaring me!"

Rose bit her lip. She'd gone too far when she started to talk about dad, she knew that, but couldn't her mum see that this was wrong? They weren't supposed to be here, not anymore. They had new and happy lives together with dad, Tony and John.

"I'm sorry." Jackie sighed and took a step closer. "I'm sorry, it's just that... You must've dreamt it, sweetheart. It was a dream, nothing more. Every girl that misses her dad does that."

"It's not just about him, mum!" Rose yelled. "When I met the Doctor I... Look, my life changed – and for the better. I love you, but I didn't like living like this."

"What's wrong with the way we live?"

"Nothing." She sighed. "It's just that I have seen what's out there, mum, and I couldn't stay here any longer. So I traveled with the Doctor for awhile, just because I could and I liked it. Then I started to love it – love _him_, even – but things got complicated."

Jackie looked at her in silent for awhile. Rose could see how worried she was, that she wanted to say so many things but didn't know how.

"Just forget what I said, mum", she said quietly after a few minutes, just to ease her mums pain. "I've got to get ready for work."

"Yeah", her mum said in relief. "The shop opens in an hour."

"_The_ _shop_?" Rose said without thinking. For the past five years in the parallel world, she'd been working for Torchwood. It wasn't an easy job, but she liked it. It made it possible for her to explore and save things, even without the Doctor. John didn't like it – he didn't really like Torchwood – but he never put up a fight about it.

_You've got to pick your battles_, he used to say. _Pick them carefully. Like you pick ties in the morning._

"The shop",Rose repeated, trying to sound more confident. "Yeah, of course. The shop. I work in the shop."

Jackie gaver her a last concern glance before she went to her room. Rose sighed and buried her face in her hands.

_What the hell was going on?_

Okay, she thought to herself. If I'm going do to this the right way, then I need to stay calm. I take it easy, go through the day as a normal person, just to see what happens.

She glanced at the calendar at the kitchen wall, just to check the date. _2005_ was shining in bright red. The date was _26 March_. She froze. She'd always remember that day, no matter what universe she was in. It was the day her life had changed forever. The day she'd met the Doctor.

A smile was starting to spread across her lips. She just hadn't met the Doctor yet. Maybe something went wrong and she'd been sent back in time, but because of her time in the TARDIS she remembered everything. Yeah, it had to be something like that. Maybe the Doctor could explain later.

The day never seemed to end. She tried to be cheerful and do everything as she could remember it, she even had lunch with Mickey. It was so good to see him again, even if he didn't understand her sudden reunion-joy. Oh, she'd missed him so much.

But after what seemed to be forever, she was handed the lottery money and was in the lift down. She was so excited about seeing the Doctor again that she almost couldn't stand still for a second.

It had been seven years since she'd been left on the beach the first time, five since the second. She wondered if he'd remember, or if it was just her that the laws of the universe didn't apply. Maybe it had something to do with her looking into the heart of the TARDIS?

The lift stopped and she began to walk down the corridor.

"Wilson? I've got the lottery money," she shouted, even though she knew he wouldn't answer. Her smile faded away when she remembered that he was dead.

"Yeah, I'm here!" A man's voice said behind her. She turned around, staring. Wilson took his money from her with a big grin on his lips. "Watcha' tell ya'? If you keep on playing; you keep on winning!" He took a step into the lift and nodded a quick good bye as the doors closed.

Rose stood frozen. Wilson was supposed to be dead. If he wasn't dead than that meant... She didn't even have time to finish the thought and in the next second she was running for her life. When she reached the room with the mannequins, she flung the door open and almost crashed into the dummies.

"I know what you are", she said to the blank face. "You're Autons, yeah? You're animated by the Nestene Consciousness and you can do the hand-flip-thingy and you've got yourself a gun."

The mannequin didn't respond.

"Hey, I'm talking to you!" she shouted and knocked on the plastic head. "Attack me! Do your thing! Try to take over the world!"

She tried to fight the tears, but it seemed impossible. It didn't matter how much she punched the dummies, they remained just that. Dummies. Made of plastic. Made of stupid, idiotic, non-living plastic.

"No", she whispered to herself. "It was real. I know it was real."

She leaned her back against the door and sat down with her knees tight against her chest, trying to comfort herself. She can't have made it up. She had great imagination, alright, but not _that_ great. It couldn't have been all in her head, just a dream over a night. No. She refused to believe that. Whatever was happening it could be reversed, it _had_ to be reversed.

She buried her face in her hands and letted herself feeling sad and alone, because soon, she was going to have to be brave and strong.

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**Please review and tell me what you think. :)**

**I apologize if some words are not correctly used or proverbs are sounding completely weird, but english is my second language and sometimes I translate things that only sounds good in one language. Hehe. **


	3. The last flame

**- Chapter three -  
The last flame**

The next day, Rose called the shop and said that she was sick. She got the day off and decided to spend it in bed, all alone with her thoughts. She tried to figure out any possible reason to why she was here, but couldn't find anything that made sense. The closest she got, was that time had gotten rewritten and because of that the Doctor and her hadn't met yet, but why did she remember everything? Was it because of her time in the TARDIS? Then wouldn't the Doctor also remember and come and find her?

Besides, both Mickey and her mum had travelled in the TARDIS and they didn't remember, so she figured it had to be something else. Maybe something with her looking into the time vortex? She'd automatically started to look after the words _Bad Wolf_, but couldn't find them.

Lunch past, but she didn't bother do get up and eat, something that made her mum very worried. After an hour or two she could hear the doorbell, followed by Mickeys voice.

Her bedroom door creaked as he slowly pulled it open.

"Rose, are you in here?"

Reluctantly, she lifted the cover and sat up. "Yeah. What do you want? Did mum call you?"

"She's worried about you, Rose", he said and gave her a nervous smile. "She said you woke up, screaming, and haven't really been the same since."

"Bad dream", Rose said shortly and lay down again. "Something else? Otherwise, I'd like to go back to sleep."

"The Doctor!" Jackie hissed from outside the room, probably forgetting that she was hiding. "Talk about the Doctor!"

Rose rolled her eyes and started to pull the cover over her head, but Mickey stopped her.

"Come on, talk to me", he said and sat down in the foot of the bed. "Tell be about the dream, yeah?"

"It wasn't a dream", Rose whispered. "It's real. All of it. I traveled with the Doctor – you traveled with us! – and then we got separated in parallel worlds, you just don't remember and I–" Her voice broke and she took a deep breath. "And I just don't understand why. Why do _I_ remember? What happened?"

"Parallel universes you say, eh?" Mickey said slowly. "That's... That's one hell of a dream."

"It wasn't a dream!" Rose cried and sat up again. "Why can't you just–"

"Hey!" He hugged her. "Okay, I'm sorry, it wasn't a dream. It was real."

She met his eyes and could see the concerning look her mum always gave her. He thought she was crazy.

"You don't believe me", she said in a low voice and suddenly, she felt very small. She'd used to have the entire universe within reach and now, now she was just one of many. A lonely girl with a boring life.

"Look, you've got to understand that's it quite a lot to ask someone to believe that", Mickey said and took her hand. "But I believe that you believe it, and if it's something I do know, it's that you're almost always right."

Rose hold her breath as he spoke. Oh lord, how much she'd missed him – just the sound of his voice was comforting – and she'd forgotten how much he once had loved her.

But _once_ for her, was his _now_. She could see it in his dark eyes, the way he was so desperate to comfort her, and it hurt her not to feel the same way.

"What are you saying?" she asked in a low voice.

"I'm saying that we can investigate." He smiled. "You know, Tyler and Smith. Maybe we can find proof of that it was a dream – or not."

She opened mouth to say something, but closed it again. Of course. Just because the Autons had been a dead end, the other stuff didn't have to be.

"You're amazing", she said eagerly. Then she jumped out of bed and as she was looking for clothes, she tried to remember every adventure she'd had with the Doctor.

After the Autons, they'd went to the end of the world – but that was billions of years into the future, so it didn't really help. After that, they'd visited Charles Dickens in 1869. Then, they'd come back home and fought against the Slitheen – but that was one year after she first left, and she couldn't wait so long. She needed something that would happen now, or at least, something they'd done back in time that still had an effect on the world. Something like...

She almost screamed of joy when she realized it.

_Torchwood. _

Back in Pete's world, she'd heard the stories of why the Torchwood Institute had been created. Queen Victoria had once met the Doctor and gotten into an adventure involving werewolves. In an attempt of keeping Britain safe, she banned the Doctor and created the Torchwood Institute to make sure he and the dangers stayed away.

She didn't know how it could've been the same story as in her universe, but she thought that maybe a parallel universe meant a parallel Doctor. However, there hadn't been any mentions of a blonde girl, which stung to find out.

"Where are we going?" Mickey asked and made her wake up from her thoughts.

She smiled the way she always did when she and the Doctor was going on a new adventure.

"Canary Wharf."

About two hours later, she walked in through the front door of the Torchwood Tower. It looked exactly the same as in the parallel world, which made her feel safe and comfortable. The woman behind the desk smiled stiffly when she approached.

"I'm here for Torchwood", Rose said firmly.

"Do you have a meeting with someone or...?" The woman gave her colleague a oh-god-look-at-the-blonde-look as she seemed to try to suppress a smile.

"I'm working for _Torchwood_", Rose said with lowered voice.

The woman didn't seem to understand. Rose sighed. They always letted the newbies take care of the desk, even in this universe.

"Never mind", she said a bit irritated. "I know where I'm going."

"And where's that?" Mickey asked as they walked towards the lifts.

"Top floor."

It took them awhile to get all the way up in the tall building, but when the monitor finally showed the right numbers Rose couldn't help the proud smile that was spreading across her face.

"Mickey", she said. "_Welcome, to Torchwood._"

They stepped out of the lift and she froze. Parallel universe, alright, but this was not Torchwood.

She stared at the desks that was standing in a firm line, each and everyone filled with a man or woman dressed in a suit. They sat looking at computer screens or answering in phones.

A sign on the west wall made her heart sink like a stone in a pond.

_Linkcom Technical Support._

"Impressive", Mickey said teasingly and leaned against the wall. "I'm chocked by the high level of aliens."

Rose opened her mouth to say something, but couldn't find the right words. Tears filled her eyes. If Torchwood never existed, than that meant... _Oh no._ It couldn't. The Doctor had to be real, it couldn't just be a dream. It just wasn't possible. He had to be real. She _needed_ him to be real.

"Come on, we should go home", Mickey said kindly and took her hand. They stepped into the elevator and without really knowing how she got there, she was in his car again. Back to the Powell Estate.

She stared out the window, trying to get a hold on what was going on, but it didn't matter. Because she had no idea. All she knew, was that it felt like someone had held a bucket full of water on her last burning flame of hope. It wasn't just gone, it was erased and would without doubt never burn again.


	4. Smith and Jones

**- Chapter four -  
Smith and Jones**

The following week, Rose continued her life from 2005. It felt weird being back in the shop – and even more weird to be back with Mickey – but she knew she had to try. For her mum's sake.

Jackie Tyler may be a strong and independent woman, but when it came to her daughter even the tiniest sneeze could make her world fall apart.

Rose tried not to mention her dad, but during the seven years she'd really gotten used to having him around. Sometimes, without thinking, she asked her mum where he or John was – just to be reminded by the horrible truth by Jackie's sad face.

So, she did her best in living the normal life again. At least when other's watched.

When she got time over, she read books or searched on the internet for any proof of the Doctor. Even if she couldn't find anyone else speaking about him, she thought that he'd might leave her a clue to was going on. She was sure that if she just looked close enough, she'd find something. It didn't matter that weeks past, or that she barely got any sleep because of late night research; she'd find him. She'd always find him.

Three weeks later, and still no results, she walked down the Thames. She figured that she needed some rest from everything, just to take an hour off from life, but after awhile she caught herself with looking for a blue police box. She didn't find one.

Angry with her herself, she buried her face in her hands and leaned against the railing. Okay. So, she hadn't found anything special that happened in history. Come to think of it, she'd never really asked him what he'd done before they'd met. It had just been them, right there and right–

She shook her head to clear her thoughts and returned to the present. No. She needed to stay focused. Back to the topic; she hadn't found anything in the past, and since the future was kind of hard to investigate, she needed to find something from this time. A place, event, person or...

She froze.

_Wait_.

A person. How could she not have thought about this before? A person, that existed in this very now. A person, that had met the Doctor. A person, that had traveled with him. A person like a companion. And she just happened to know the name of three.

Grinning, she started to run and didn't stop until she was home.

After checking up their addresses, she borrowed Mickeys car and went on a trip. She started with Donna's house, but nobody answered the door. Feeling a little bit defeated, she continued on to Sarah Jane. As she entered the garden, a barking dog came running to greet her.

"Kane!" Rose could hear the other companions voice shout before she came around the corner. "Kane, be quiet! You're scaring our guest away."

Sarah Jane looked the exact opposite of what she'd used to. Her hair was in curlers and she was wearing an apron with a lot of pink flowers on it. Rose tried not to stare, but it was hard since the Sarah Jane she could remember was a hard-nosed companion that constantly saed the world. This looked more like a grand mother.

"Hello, sweetie", she greeted with a nice smile. "Who are you?"

Rose felt her heart drop.

"Rose", she answered quietly. "Rose Tyler."

"Oh, what a beautiful name." Sarah Jane patted her dog on his head. "I'm sorry for Kane, he doesn't usually behave like this."

"Kane?" Rose said with a horse voice. Last time they'd met, she'd had a dog as well. But unlike K-9, Kane wasn't made of metal.

The other woman laughed. "Yeah. Not a very common name for dogs, perhaps. What did you want, Rose?"

Rose opened her mouth to speak, but she didn't know what to say. _'Excuse me, but can you remember a two hearted alien that travels in a blue box?'_ didn't really seem as a great start.

"Um", she said slowly. "Can you remember a man called the Doctor?"

"Oh, I remember many doctors, sweetie. Which one do you mean?"

"Just... _the Doctor._"

Sarah Jane smiled a bit confused. "Doctor who, exactly?"

Rose clenched her teeth and took a deep breath.

"You know what, never mind." She began to back away. "Forget I ever was here, just be happy with Kane and your son."

Sarah Jane laughed. "I don't have a son, sweetheart. It's just me and Kane."

_Oh._

"Um, yeah, my bad." She stopped and watched the other woman for a second. She seemed to do alright, even without the Doctor. Maybe Rose could have that one day too. "Have a great life, Sarah Jane. You deserve it." Then she turned around and stepped inside the car before Sarah Jane could ask any questions.

She wanted to break down. She wanted to cry and scream at the world that it didn't make sense, but she closed her eyes and forced herself to stay strong. She didn't even pretend to do it for her mum anymore, she needed to stay strong for her own sake.

_Oh, come one!_ She was Rose Tyler. Her life didn't end just because she didn't have a man in her life, she could do things on her own. A little voice inside her head told her that the Doctor wasn't just any man, he was the single, most important thing that had ever happened to her, but she chose not to listen to that voice. Instead, she started the car and drove off.

The battle wasn't lost yet. Just because Sarah Jane didn't remember, it didn't mean that Martha or Donna wouldn't – and even if they didn't, she'd keep on looking for answers. She'd visit places and people – hell, she'd visit Harriet Jones if she had to! – until someone gave her an explanation. After everything she'd been through, she deserved it.

She remembered the day at Torchwood Tower, the day she thought she'd lost hope, but after awhile she realized that nothing could take it away from her. That was all she had left. Hope. It didn't matter how much she'd lost, deep within her it would probably always burn. Blimey, that sounded like something John would've said.

That last thought almost made her drive of the road. A wave of guilt hit her. She hadn't been thinking about John so much lately, it had all been about the Doctor. Her bad conscience got even heavier when she realized that if she didn't find the Doctor, then John wouldn't even exist. Of course, he'd always be somewhere inside the Doctor, but _her_ John – the John that had been created by living five years with her – wouldn't exist.

By the time she reached Martha's house, the sun was about to disappear behind the horizon. She got out of the car and saw a man play with to children on a swing on the front yard.

"Martha's inside!" He shouted at her and she nodded slowly. Was this Martha's husband? And her children? She tried to remember how to breath as she knocked on the door. Martha herself opened.

"Hello?" she greeted and made it sound like a question.

"Have you ever been to the moon?" Rose heard herself ask. _What? _Sure, she remembered Martha telling her about her first adventure with the Doctor, the time a hospital got transported to the moon and interrogated by alien rhinos, but have you even been to the moon..? What the hell was that for a question?

Martha seemed to think the same. "No, not really. Who are you again?"

"I'm no one", Rose said and waved her hands impatiently. "But answer me this – and it's really important – have you ever met the Doctor?"

"Which doctor?" Martha replied. "I meet_ a lot_ of doctors. I'm a doctor myself. So is my husband."

"_The_ Doctor, Martha", Rose said pleadingly. "Don't tell me you can't remember him either."

Martha frowned. "What are you talking about? Who are you?"

Rose took a deep breath. "Never mind me." She tried to smile, but it looked more like a grimace. With heavy steps she walked to her car, feeling Martha's suspicious look in her back.

As she sat down, her phone rang.

"What?" she answered dryly.

"Hello sunshine", Mickey said teasingly. "Where are you?"

"Just..." She looked out her window and met Martha's eyes, quickly she looked in another direction. "Just taking a little trip."

Silence met her answer, but she waited patently for him to reply.

"You're looking for him again, aren't ya'?" Mickey said, now sounding a bit tired. "Rose, come on, it was a _dream_."

"No, it's real", she said, sounding very small.

Mickey sighed. "Let me guess, you didn't find anything today either? Stop doing this to yourself, Rose, you're just gonna get your hopes up in time for being let down again. He isn't real. It's been, what, three weeks? If you haven't found anything yet, you're never gonna find it."

"Good bye, Mickey", she whispered and turned off the phone before he could protest. She gave Martha one last glance before she drove off to the Noble house.

No one was home this time either, so with a heavy heart she returned home. She could hear Mickey's voice in her head, over and over again.

_He isn't real. He isn't real. He isn't real._

She screamed into a pillow, just letting it all out. They were wrong. He was real. And if he now didn't come to her, than she had to come to him.

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, btw, sorry that this chapter mostly spoke against the last one, but I just ****realized that damn. This is Rose Tyler, she won't give up that easily. **

**Also, I'd like to thank _The Wild Wild Whovian_, because honestly. I'd never even thought of Sarah Jane otherwise. **


	5. Heading back

**A/N: I just wanted to thank all of you amazing readers and reviewers, know that I appreciate ****_all_**** of you. Thank you, for reading and giving me your thoughts about the story.**

**I'd also like to point out that ****_no_****, I haven't forgotten about UNIT or the fact that Martha was supposed to be under twenty-something, a medical student and hadn't met the Doctor yet. Everything's really confusing, I know, and this chapter is probably going to make it even more weird but yeah... ****_Hehehehehe_****.**

* * *

**- Chapter five -  
Heading back**

The next morning, Rose woke up with a terrible headache. But it didn't really matter, since she also woke up realizing that she'd been incredibly stupid. Martha Jones had been the Doctor's companion _after_ her and all their adventures, and it still hadn't been a month since the day she should've met him. Of course Martha couldn't remember him – they hadn't even met yet! How could she not have remembered this yesterday? It hadn't even crossed her mind, and now, it was all she could think of. Well, that and the annoying headache.

But something was still strange about it, because during that little time they'd spent together in the TARDIS Martha had told Rose how she and the Doctor first met; on the moon. In a hospital from Earth. Martha had been a medical student. She'd been twenty-two.

That was in 2008, which meant that she was about nineteen now, but how could she at the age of nineteen have two children, a husband and be a doctor? She hadn't even met _the_ Doctor yet.

Rose's head felt like if it was filled with beating drums and every inch of her body told her not to do it, so naturally she got dressed, borrowed Mickey's car and went to see Martha Jones again.

By the time she reached the house, she could tell that something was wrong. Not only did it look different – the swing was gone, and instead there was a giant oak casting a shadow over the house – it _felt_ different. She didn't know what, if it was in the air or just her head, but it just seemed wrong – actually, it felt right. Too right. Terrifying right.

She knocked on the door with a careful hand and an old woman opened.

"God morning", she greeted with a smile. "What can I help you with?"

"Um", Rose hesitated. "Is Martha Jones here?"

"Martha who?" The old woman asked. The question made Rose shiver. She was used to hear it, just with another word in front of the _who_.

"Jones. Martha Jones." Rose cleared her throat, trying not to seem scared for her life. "I was here yesterday, there was a swing over there...? She's tall, dark, got lovely hair... She's a doctor."

The old woman smiled politely. "I've lived here for over fifty years, young lady, and never had there been a swing there. You must've taken the wrong house."

"Yeah." Rose swallowed. "That must be it. Um. Goodbye." Feeling like a living and breathing question mark she went back to the car. Why didn't anything make sense? It'd been this house, she _knew_ it. It hadn't changed that much!

But the house didn't really matter right now, she just needed to find Martha. What if something had happened to her? But how could she find her?

With a deep sigh, she letted herself believe in the old woman's words for a second. If she'd lived there for fifty years, then where did Martha live? She picked up the phone and called Mickey.

"Rose!" Mickey answered and she could almost hear the smile in his voice. "I'm at your house. Where are you?"

"Mickey, could you go to the computer. Please", she added quickly. "I need a little help."

"But where..." He sighed. "Never mind. Hang on."

She could hear him turn on the computer and log in.

"What do you want?"

"Could you find me the address for Martha Jones?", she said. "Born in..." She calculated silently. "Um. Born in '86, I think."

Mickey was quiet, but she could hear the tangents being pushed.

"Found it", he said rather proudly. "Do you want directions with that as well, miss Tyler?"

* * *

Martha now lived in an apartment all by herself. Rose wondered where the kids and the husband had gone, but didn't really dare to finish the thought.

As she rang the doorbell she hold her breath and tried to think of something to say. The Martha Jones that opened the door looked completely different from yesterday. It didn't really go to describe with words, more than she looked younger in every way. She looked more messy compared to the firm and strict clothes she'd worn yesterday, but that was just the start. It was something in her eyes, something more... Innocent.

"Hello?" She greeted after awhile, since Rose stood silent.

"Hello", Rose said, sounding like if she was out of air. Quickly, she inhaled some more.

They stood silent again. Martha looked very uncomfortable.

"What do you want?" She asked slowly and confused.

"We met yesterday", Rose started, but Martha interrupted her quickly.

"I was home all day. Studying. _Alone_."

Rose shook her head. "No, you where in a house far from here. You _lived_ there, don't you remember? Where's your husband, Martha? Where's your children?"

Martha stood like in chock, staring at the blonde.

"Um. _Okaay_." She laughed nervously. "Look, I don't know what you're talking about. You must've dreamt it, or _something_. I don't know you. Who are you?"

"Rose Tyler", Rose whispered. To hear those words hurt more than she knew. _You must've dreamt it_. _It was probably just a dream_. What was up with everyone and dreaming things? It happened!

"Never heard of you, sorry", Martha said as she began to close the door. "I think I'm gonna go back to studying now, bye." She closed it a little quicker than normal, which only made Rose feel worse. They all thought she was mad.

Angry, she began walking back to the car. She wasn't sad anymore, she was furious. Furious, because nothing made sense whatsoever. Furious, because no one believed her. Furious, because she just wanted everything back to normal!

She sat in the car and tried to think back on yesterday, but everything was a bit blurry. Her extreme headache didn't really make it better, either.

Frowning, she tried to remember her meetings with Martha and Sarah Jane, but funny thing was, that the more she thought of the trip, the less she could remember. Everything seemed to be covered in a thick fog that made her head hurt even more.

The more she thought of it, the more it started to seem like a dream; she could remember the feeling and something little about the story, but the details were blurry and very unrealistic. But it couldn't been a dream, right...?

To be honest, she wasn't so sure anymore, so she picked up the phone and called Mickey.

"Where do you want to go this time?" he asked a bit dryly.

"No, nothing like that, I just..." She took a deep breath. "I took a trip and visited some people yesterday, right?"

"Um. I don't know", he said a bit confused. "I don't think so, I mean... When did you do it? You worked whole day and then we went to see a movie."

"No, that was last friday", Rose said and shook her head.

She remembered that day clearly, actually she remembered everyday clearly, it was just yesterday that was blurry and foggy.

"Yeah, _yesterday_. Friday was yesterday. Did you get drunk or something?"

She ignored his comment. "No, yesterday was saturday."

Mickey laughed. "Rose, it's saturday today."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. God, you must've–"

"Goodbye." She hang up before he was able to say something else. She knew it wasn't fair, it wasn't his fault that the world gone mad, but she needed to be alone with her own thoughts. If it was friday yesterday, and saturday today then... No. She remembered yesterday, _her_ yesterday, she'd went on a trip and... Nothing. It was gone, like a dream; you forget it as soon as you wake up. All you're left with is a strange feeling.

She shook her head to clear her thoughts, started the car and drove off. By the time she reached the Powell Estate she didn't even remember that she'd went on a trip. It was just gone. So was her headache.


	6. The last solution

**- Chapter six -**  
**The last solution**

John Smith was sitting in his and Rose's apartment. He sat slumped on the sofa with his feet on the coffee table, staring at the wall in front of him.

It was so silent. He hated silence. Even in the TARDIS, when he was all alone and without companion, there hadn't been any silence. The constant and soothing humming had always made him feel a bit more comfortable, but the TARDIS was long gone. So was the humming. So was Rose. All he had was silence.

Rose Tyler. Oh, how he missed her. She'd been gone for over five months now and he almost hadn't stopped looking for a single second. Right now, for example, he went through his mental archive of aliens that abducted young girls. The list wasn't very long though, and none of them was this discrete.

If he got to choose, he'd been at Torchwood and working on a solution, but Jackie had claimed that he wasn't to any help if he didn't get some sleep. He'd simply refused, used to being fully Time Lord and all, but she'd said that now he was half human and had been for over five years, and humans needed sleep.

So, she'd dragged Jake along and forced him to stand guard in the apartment, making sure that the half human time lord got some rest. He'd slept for fours hours and then started to get ready to leave, but Jake said that Jackie's orders was at least six hours and he didn't dare to cross her. Angry Jackie wasn't something you wanted on your doorstep. Although John had to agree with that, he needed to find Rose. Of all people, he thought Jackie would understand.

The police thought she'd left by herself, that she needed to be alone right now. Especially during _the circumstances_, but John knew better. She wouldn't just leave her mum without saying anything, especially not now, and five months was a very long time.

John didn't know what to do. He had tried _everything_. Multiple times. But there still wasn't any sign of where she'd went and that made him more scared than ever before. People didn't just disappear.

It all was so clean, that he didn't even know where to start. There was nothing he could do.

Well, he thought. There was _one_ thing left. But that had to be the last solution of the last solutions. Last of the last. Because there were no going back.

_But wasn't this it?_ He was out of ideas, he had been for a long time now, and what was the other solution? Giving up on her? _Never!_

He rose from the sofa and almost flew down the stairs.

"Hey!" He heard Jake shout, coming running after him. "Five hours hasn't even passed yet, Smithy. Get back up." He stopped, frowning, and took carefully a step closer. "What are you doing?"

John was standing on the grass with his fingers on his temples and staring up at the starry night sky.

"Oh, Jake", he sighed. "I'm about to do something incredibly stupid."

"Then don't."

"I have to", he said as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "_For her_."

He decided not to send words, because he didn't know exactly how long his message would travel, and long distances could make words blurry or come in the wrong order. He needed it to be right, because he probably only had one shot. And maybe he'd never know if it hit it's target.

So, instead of words, he imagined a picture. A drawing. He painted it with his mind, filled it with fear and begging, and then he send it.

* * *

"Where would you like to go next?" The Doctor asked Clara as he ran around the console to press a button on the other side.

She jumped out of his way with a dreaming face.

"Isn't there some planet people go to, just because it's really beautiful? Somewhere without danger, for once." She looked down at her hands that still were dirty after all the tunnel digging. "Somewhere we don't have to run or dig for our lives. You know, like with waterfalls, flowers, mountains..."

He frowned. "You want to go back to Earth?"

She met his eyes with surprise. "Earth? Of all the places you've been to, the most beautiful one is _Earth_?"

"What? You don't think all of that exuberant life is beautiful?"

"Well, in it's own way I guess..." She didn't stop talking, but the Doctor stopped listening. It wasn't that he didn't care about what she said, it was just that he'd gotten a message on his psychic paper. Something that hadn't happen in far too long.

Thrilled to see that it still worked, he opened it up – just to see a drawing. It wasn't a beautiful drawing, it was rather blurry and simple, but he guessed it was supposed to be a flower. No. He frowned. A _dead_ flower.

"Are you even listening to me, mister?" Clara asked, a bit irritated. "You were the one that asked, remember?"

"No. Um. Yeah. Sorry.", he said, still looking at the picture.

Clara peeked over his shoulder. "What's that?"

"A message." The Doctor scratched his neck, trying to think of the meaning of a dead flower.

His companion grabbed the paper and examined it suspiciously. "How's this a message?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out." He began to pace around. "A dead flower, what does that mean? That a garden is in danger? I have the most powerful spaceship in the universe. I don't have time for _gardens_."

"Well, for starters", Clara said slowly. "It's a _dying_ flower. Not dead. See?" She pointed at the picture. He squinted at the drawing, but now he could see it to. It didn't make him understand it better, though.

"A dying flower", he said. "_Dying_ flower. _Flower_ dying." He tried to speak the words with different highlights and accents. "It doesn't say anything else?"

"Nope." Clara shook her head, then she frowned. "Well. I'm not sure if it matters, but it's not any flower."

"What? It's a _special_ flower?" The Doctor snorted.

She smiled at him. "Just like people and animals, Doctor, plants and flowers also have different species. This, for example, is a dying_ rose._"


	7. The loyal companion

**- Chapter seven -**  
**The loyal companion**

Clara stood leaning against the wall and watched the Doctor as he ran around and pressed buttons. Ever since she'd told him about the dying rose he'd been stranger than usual, and that was almost three days ago. At least it felt like three days. She hadn't really figured out how to keep track on time on the TARDIS yet.

Anyway, for what felt like three days the Doctor had been sitting in the library and reading. He'd also been more stiff than usual and every time she'd asked for anything, he'd given her the shortest, possible answer. It scared her, because he usually didn't stop talking and she had to smile and pretend to be interested. She hadn't dared to ask what a dying rose meant, because sometimes she'd seen him pick up the message, stare at it and seem very determinate, but scared. She figured it meant something to him personally. Maybe something about his home planet?

Suddenly – so suddenly that she almost jumped sky high – he cried out in triumph and slammed his hand on a button the hardest he could.

Clara ran to him with a big smile, happy that his hard work seemed to be paying off.

"Where are we going?"

"Home!" He exclaimed without looking at her.

She hold her breath. "To your planet? The planet of the time lords?"

"No." He stopped and met her eyes. His smile was gone. "I'm taking _you_ home. Back to earth. Back to your time." He caressed her cheek briefly and then ran to the other side of the console.

Clara stood still.

"Why?" she asked silently. "Did I do something wrong?"

He looked up in surprise. "Oh, Clara. Oh, sweet, little Clara. You did absolutely _nothing_ wrong." He took a deep breath and tried to find the right words. "It's just that where I'm going... You can't come."

"Why not?" She took a step closer. "Do they have like a law against humans?"

"Oh no, it's full of humans." He nodded to suppress. "It's just _very_ dangerous."

She laughed sarcastically. "I think everything that has to do with you is quite dangerous, Doctor."

"You don't understand." He looked down at the console, flipping some more buttons. Something told Clara he did it just to not have to look her in the eyes. "This is different."

"Isn't it always?" Clara snorted. "I'm coming with you."

"No." He stepped closer and put his hands on her shoulders. "Where I'm going, it's so dangerous that it took me a long time to even convince the TARDIS to come with me. It's so, _so_ far away and we'll be risking billions of peoples life, just to get there. If something would go just a tiny bit wrong, the TARDIS will make sure that we die before anyone else can get hurt!"

Clara smirked briefly. "Sounds like an ordinary day to me."

"It's not! Oh no, this is so much more", the time lord said with a cold laugh. "If you go with me, the chance of coming back here is so small that it doesn't even exist." He stared at her silently, and made her feel incredibly uncomfortable, but she didn't look away. She met his eyes with a firm and steady look as she took a deep breath.

"Then whatever that message was about, it must be really important."

"Yes."

"At least to you."

Her words seemed to surprise him a bit.

"Yes."

She nodded slowly, thinking over her alternatives. She trusted this man with her life, and she believed his words. It wasn't going to be easy, but he was going to do it. He always did. With or without her.

But his sad and concerned face that had been with him like a mask the last days was something she couldn't get out of her head. Whatever was wrong, it was about something that was dear to him, and when dear things were in danger; no one should have to face them alone.

"I'm still coming with you", she whispered. "You'll need me."

He opened his mouth to protest, but didn't seem to find any good things to say. A wave of mixed emotions crossed his face; anger, confusion, insecurity, pride and so on, but he didn't say anything.

After about a minute of silence, he only seemed to have one question left.

"Are you sure?"

Clara gave him her brightest and most convincing smile.

"Always, captain."

Something that looked very similar to relief was visible in his face, but just for a second.

"Then, away we go!" He shouted and did his thing with the buttons. "You might wanna hold on, this is going to get a bit... _Shaky_."

She didn't even get to the console in time, because the next second the whole machine seemed to go crazy. A violent lurch knocked them both off their feet. Clara fell onto the stairs and hit the back of her head, but the Doctor got a grip around the railing and with one hand he hold onto it for dear life.

The lights flickered and appeared to go out, but something behind Clara made sure the darkness didn't conquer completely. The sound of something exploding made her realize that it was fire.

A thick smoke filled the room as the TARDIS started to lurch from side to side. Clara tried to get a grip around the railing, but didn't quite reach it before another lurch made her hit her head against the stairs again. She hit harder this time, so hard that it made her lose consciousness.

* * *

When she woke up, the smoke was gone and the TARDIS was once again still and silent. She moaned and sat up, slowly, because everything was rather dizzy.

"Clara?" She could hear the Doctor call from the other side of the console.

"Yeah, I'm–" She was going to say fine, but every inch of her body hurt. "Alive."

"Great!" The Doctor said and coughed. "Alive's great! Wonderful, even."

It took them a couple of minutes before they could stand properly and by the time Clara's dizziness was gone, the Doctor was already babbling like he used to.

"We're alive! We're here!" He shouted happily. "We actually made it. It was impossible but we made it! And no one is dead. The rift is sealed, like if nothing ever passed through. It's unbelievable! Did you do it? You sealed it after us! Oh, you clever, old girl." He playfully dashed the TARDIS console.

Clara raised an eyebrow. "Where exactly are we?"

"London!" The Doctor laughed and clapped hands. "We're in London, safe and sound."

"How's London far away?" Clara said as she straightened her dress. "We've traveled there many times, but never like this. It was like an earthquake. On the TARDIS. A TARDIS-quake."

The Doctor didn't seem very happy with her name for it, but nodded rapidly.

"Something like that I guess, but on the other hand; nothing _at all_ like that." He met her eyes and smiled proudly. "To answer your question, we're in London, but not _your_ London. We're in a parallel universe. A parallel London!"

"A parallel London?" Clara repeated breathlessly. "That's just... _Wow_."

A grin spread on the Doctor's lips. "I know." He straightened his bowtie. "Don't get used to it though! Because we're not supposed to be here – actually, I'm not sure how we can be alive, but it's a great thing we are because..." His voice slowly faded away for Clara, because all she could think about was the parallel London. With a curious smirk on her lips, she ran to open the door and looked out over the landscape. Then she froze.

"This is amazing. I never thought it would work. You–" He snapped his fingers and pointed at her. "You make the impossible possible! You're my lucky charm! I'm never getting rid of you. Of course it wasn't just you–"

"Doctor?" Clara said slowly.

"– I mean, I'm rather amazing myself", the Doctor continued. "And don't forget about the TARDIS! The best ship in the entire universe, well I have–"

"Doctor?"

"– to say I was a little bit concerned when there were explosions and fire and smoke and lurching – a whole lot of lurching! – but I never–"

"Doctor!" Clara shouted and he woke up from his own thoughts with a twitch. "Are you _sure_ we're in London?"

"Parallel universe, parallel London!" He claimed as he walked towards her.

"We're in a desert", she said.

He opened the other door and stared out over a landscape of sand. Sand, sand and more sand as far as his eyes could see – which was pretty far.

"Oh." He sniffed a few times and then tasted the air loudly. Clara watched him with raised eyebrows.

He frowned and scratched his neck as he looked around. "Um. We're a tiny bit wrong. We're in the Sahara."

* * *

**I do apologize for the lame ending, I really do. **


	8. Parallel London

**- Chapter eight -  
Parallel London**

The TARDIS needed time to _reload_, as Clara put it, since traveling trough the void apparently took a lot of power. Waiting twenty-four hours in the Sahara desert wasn't the most exciting thing she'd done in her life, and since her pale skin was used to the cold weather of England she didn't dare to stand in the sun too long.

So, she went on a little trip to the library and found a book to read; _Melody Malone: Private Detective in Old New York Town_. She was halfway trough chapter seven when she heard the Doctor call her name.

"We can go now!" he shouted. "Unless you want to stay in the... Sand."

Relieved, she dropped the book and ran all the way to the console room.

"Finally", she sighed. "You know, for being a time machine, we have to do an awful lot of waiting."

The Doctor glared at her with hurt pride, but didn't say anything. Instead, he focused on the console and flipped some levels.

"Parallel London, are you ready?" he shouted as the TARDIS began to move. The trip went a little rougher than it used to, but afraid that the TARDIS would throw her off; she didn't say anything about it.

When it landed, Clara smiled widely but the Doctor didn't look as confident as he used to. He threw a nervous glance at the not-so-wooden doors.

"Where _exactly_ are we?" She asked eagerly and tried not to see his sudden insecurity as something bad.

"Tyler mansion", the Doctor said and stared down at the console.

Clara waited for him to continue, but he was silent. She took a deep breath.

"Okay, Doctor, I get that it's a touchy subject, but I just risked my life to come here", she said as nicely as she could. "So, why are we here? What did the message mean? Why did you freak out about it being a dying _rose_?"

He met her eyes carefully and moistened his lips.

"A long time ago", he said. "I used to travel with this.. this amazing girl. Her name was Rose."

The way he said her name made Clara widen her eyes.

_Oh_. So _that's_ why it was a touchy subject. He'd had feeling for this girl. Rose. _Oh_. A dying rose. This girl, Rose, was in some sort of deadly danger.

"What happened?" she asked quietly. "I mean... How do you end up in a parallel London?"

"There was... Um." He cleared his throat. "_Complications_. She had to go here to survive, but she went with her family, so she was happy."

"And now she's dying?"

The Doctor shrugged. "I know as little as you on that matter. I haven't met her in years, _centuries_ actually, all I know is from that message."

"But who send it then?" Clara frowned. "I mean, I'm not an expert – I don't know anything about this really – but to send a message through that void-thing... Doesn't that take a lot of power? And knowledge? _We_ barely got through and we've got _the TARDIS_, for crying out loud. Who can send a message, not only through time and space, but also through _dimensions_?"

He waited a few seconds before he answered, as if he didn't know how to put it, but she waited patiently.

"Let's just say that it's someone that knows a _lot_ about me", he said in a low voice, sounding all mysteriously, and then he gave the TARDIS a last touch before he opened the doors and stepped outside. Clara was right behind him and looked around in amazement. The TARDIS had landed in front of a massive staircase, a staircase that belonged to a very great and fancy house. Other than her home back in the other London.

"_Wow_", she whispered. "A mansion alright, I'll give you that."

The Doctor didn't look as impressed as her, instead, he looked more sad. He glanced at the stairs and then down at his feet.

Clara could hear someone come running and in the next second, a blonde woman came around the corner. She stared blankly at the couple for a second, but then her eyes discovered the TARDIS and she gasped. Like if something had hit her in the stomach, she gasped for air and had to lean against the wall not to loose balance.

"Is that Rose?" Clara whispered but a glance from the Doctor made her take a step back in surprise. He looked at her as if she asked him to boil puppies alive.

"Hello, Jackie", he said, facing the blonde woman again. She stared at him.

"Who the hell are you?" She demanded to know. "Why do you have that?" She pointed at the TARDIS.

"Because it's me, Jackie", he said and made presenting a gesture mixed with a false smile.

Jackie stared at him in disbelief but then recognition crossed her face.

"Did you change your face again?" She snapped at him. "To look younger? So that even younger girls comes with you in that.. that _thing_?" She looked at Clara. "What'd he tell you, then? That he could show you the stars? He's nothing but trouble that one, I'll tell ya'!"

Clara stared at the woman as she took a quick step closer to the Doctor.

"Change your face?" she whispered. "_Again?_"

"Time lord-stuff", he grunted. "We regenerate, cheats death but changes every cell in our body and– It's all very complicated, I'll tell you some other time."

That answer didn't make her understand it better, but she took a step back. First things first. Rose was dying.

"Why are you here?" Jackie shouted. "You said that she could never see you again. You even left her with the other one! The other _you_!"

Clara opened her mouth to ask, but the Doctor held up a finger to stop her.

"I got a message, Jackie", he said calmly, changing the subject to more important matters. In his eyes, anyway. "Something about Rose being in danger...?"

The blonde woman's face softened and she looked at him with tear-brimmed eyes. On the wall behind her, Clara could now see a picture of her and another blonde – but the other one was much younger. They held each other tight, and even though their differences, you could see some similarities; the grinning smile, a special look in their eyes, the way they leaned on one leg more than the other– and Clara understood. This was Rose's mum.

She examined the girl in the photo. She was cute, didn't look different from any other person though, but something told Clara that this girl was really special. If she'd even made the TARDIS-loving Doctor fall for her, she had to be.

"She's gone missing, Doctor", Jackie whispered in horror. "One day, she just disappeared, and no one have seen her since."

"How long ago was that?" the Doctor asked with clear concern in his voice.

"About six months." Jackie crossed her arms and suddenly looked very determined, even with the tears in her eyes. "You better be here to help us find her."

"Why else would I risk to universes colliding?" the Doctor said with a sad smile.

Jackie laughed silently and looked down at her hands.

"I should call John. 'Guessing he's the one who got you here."

"John?"

"Yeah, the other Doctor", she explained. "Figured he'd need a name and he said he liked John Smith."

"Oh." The Doctor nodded slowly. He looked so sad that Clara wanted to take his hand, but she didn't want to give Jackie the wrong idea about their relationship so she stood still, just giving him a comforting look.

Jackie nodded for herself and turned around to call this John, but the Doctor stopped her by softly her calling her name.

"Jackie? How long..." He cleared his throat. "How long has it been here?"

"Five years, a little more", Jackie answered shortly and then walked out of the room with quick steps.

"Five years", the Doctor nodded again and looked down at his hands. Clara could see sadness in his eyes and she understood. He may have spent centuries without Rose, and she just five years without him, but he was time lord. Five years in a human life could be a very long time and a lot could happen. _A lot_ involving this John.

* * *

**A/N: Halloooo. Long time, no updates – right? Sorry about that, but from now on it will change. I got so much planned for this story and I really hope you'll enjoy reading it as much as I have writing it. **

**You may have realized that we haven't really heard from Rose in a while, but a chapter of hers is coming real soon. Maybe one or two with John first, just to sort some things out. **

**I'd just like to thank all of you amaaaaazing readers and ****reviewers, I can't tell you how glad I am that you like the story. You're just _brilliant_. (oh no she didn't) (oh yes I did) (oh damn this is lame)**

**Anyways, keep on reading and reviewing and soon – or well, in a ****while – it all will clear up and you'll understand this mess of mine.**


	9. Not the same

**- Chapter nine -  
Not the same**

John had never traveled the distance between the apartment and the Tyler mansion as fast as he did after Jackie's call. With mixed feeling, he drove up until he reached the house, and practically jumped out of the car.

The doors flung open as he bursted into the room. At the bottom of the stairs, it stood. The TARDIS. For a second, the blue box was all he could see. It didn't matter that he only was half time lord and not _the_ Doctor, because he had all the memories of traveling with her. His wonderful ship. His wonderful, amazing, brilliant ship that always had been with him. He couldn't even begin to describe the feeling, it was all stars and fireworks.

Then he saw the man standing in front of it. He was tall, almost as tall as John himself, but he sort of crumbled. He had a strong chin, blue-green eyes but the thing that made him rememberable was the bow-tie.

It only took John a moment to figure out who it was. Partly, because of the sonic screwdriver he was fiddling nervously with, but mostly because of the look in his eyes. John had seen that very same look multiple times; it was his own eyes, both after and while being _the_ Doctor.

He had regenerated. Of course he had. He looked so much younger – _and the girl_. A cute, young girl was standing behind him, biting her lip. He had replaced Rose? _Again?_

His already burning rage grew – if possible – even stronger.

"Where the hell have you been?" He roared and took a menacing step forward.

The Doctor frowned at him. "Parallel universe, remember?" He straightened his bow-tie nervously. "I got the message, but I–"

"That", John spat. "was a month ago. _A whole month_! I know you have the hearts to leave her all miserable and in tears on a beach, but at least I thought you cared enough to want her _alive_. Another month she's been gone – she's probably dead and it's you fault!"

_Smack!_

His head was thrown at side when the hand slapped him. Not the Doctor's hand; _Jackie's_ hand.

"Don't you dare say that about my daughter!" She cried through her tears. "She can take care of herself, you've seen it! Both of you! She's strong, and she'll always fight her way back to me. She's _not_ dead."

John stared at her, taken by his own stupidity. Not because he didn't think Rose couldn't fight – he _knew_ she could, but what use would her bravery be against, let's say, a weeping angel? – but because of the words that had left his mouth.

_She's probably dead._

How could he ever had said something like that? How for the love of Gallifrey could he have said something like that about his Rose? Horrified, he looked back at the Doctor, who seemed to have the same thoughts.

"I got the message less than two days ago", he then answered with a low voice and just stared into John's eyes. His calmness made John mad. If someone had ever said something like that about Rose to John, then he would have attacked with rage, but the Doctor just looked at him with a calm and steady look in his eyes.

"Yeah", the girl said and was suddenly by his side. "We came as soon as we could."

John glared at her before he returned his gaze to the Doctor, now feeling the shock fade away and the anger burst up again.

"Who is she, then? A new little girl you picked up to keep you company? To have fun with?"

"Hey", the girl snapped. "I've got a voice of my own, you know, and a name."

"This is Clara", the Doctor said and laid a arm around the girls shoulders. "And yes, she is my companion." His eyes turned darker. "Now, what happened to Rose?"

John stared at him, refusing to talk, so Jackie took a step forward again.

"I told you, Doctor", she said in a low voice. "She was happy, had a good life and lived like that for five years after that we came back. Then one day, six months ago, she just disappeared. Not a word, not a trace – just gone."

"And where did you last see her?"

Jackie opened her mouth to answer, but tears welled in her eyes and she covered her face with her hands.

"The hospital", John answered for her. "And then we think she ran to the Torchwood Tower."

"_Ran?_"

"She was upset."

"Upset?" the Doctor asked and looked even more concerned. "Why?"

A knife twisted in John's stomach. He wasn't going to tell him. Never.

"Never mind why", he snapped. "That's not important. She was at the hospital, where anyone last saw her, and then at Torchwood."

He could see the mistrust in the Doctor's eyes. They had once been the same man and both knew how the other felt for her, which made them both know that the reason to Rose being upset was, in fact, of great importance. But John wasn't going to tell him anything more than what was necessary.

"What have they done to find her?" the Doctor asked, even though John could see other questions wanting to burst out of the man.

"The police?" he snorted. "Nothing. Some searches and shout outs, but they think she left voluntarily."

"Why would they think that?"

"Because of reasons", John said dryly. "I know she didn't leave voluntarily."

"And how do you know that?"

John glared at him but didn't answer. He knew as well as him that Rose never would leave her mother like that. Sure, she'd ran away with him in the TARDIS but that was different. She'd never leave now, during the.. _circumstances_.

"What have _you_ done, then?" the Doctor asked, sounding slightly irritated.

"Everything!" John cried. "Who do you think I am?"

The other man looked like if he was about to say something, but then turned to the TARDIS.

"If the last place she went to was the Torchwood Tower, then let's go there!" He opened the door and entered. The girl came running after him.

"What are you going to do?" John snorted. "Search for traces of some sort of extra-terrestrial technology or energy? She disappeared six months ago. There aren't going to be anything there."

The girl stopped just outside the door and looked back at John.

"Well, it's a time machine", she said. "Can't we just go back six months?"

"We can't cross our own time-stream", the Doctor's voice shouted from inside the machine.

Every inch of John's body told him to go inside the ship and feel the amazing feeling he always got. The feeling of being home. But his clear mind refused and he stayed where he was.

"Well, it isn't _ours_", the girl answered.

"Now it is." The Doctor tuck his head out the doors, making her take a surprised step backwards. "Are you coming or not?"

"Go with them", Jackie answered for him. "Find her and bring her back to me, alright?"

John nodded slowly but didn't move.

"Aren't you coming?" the Doctor asked surprised and looked at Jackie.

"Tobias is sick", she answered quietly. "He's just seven. I can't leave him."

"Oh", the Doctor smiled, then turned his gaze to John once more. "Come one then." He ran back inside the ship with the girl just behind him.

John walked slowly against the door, let his hand touch the blue painted wood and then took the step in. It didn't feel the same. Of course, it felt like the last time, but the times he remembered – back when he still had been _the_ Doctor – was much different.

To feel the TARDIS like a half human was like only eating the frosting of a cake. It was good, but not nearly as good as the whole experience. It didn't even look the same. _Wait_. It actually didn't look the same.

"You made her change the desktop theme!" he cried out as the doors behind him closed.

The Doctor gave him an irritated look as he started to flip some levels and push some buttons at the console. John stared around in the room. Like always, the idea was the same but the decoration different. He actually liked it, it looked very beautiful and whole.

Although, "I don't like it", he said out loud.

* * *

**A/N: Not really the best chapter, I know, but as compensation for that I'm gonna try to post a new chapter later today. Soon, thing's will actually start to happen, haha.**


	10. New hope

**- Chapter ten -**  
**New hope**

During the flight to the Torchwood Tower, the Doctor gave Clara a short explanation of who John was. A human biological meta-crisis, as he said with his technical words and terms, human clone, as Clara called it.

The whole thing creeped her out a bit, but she soon realized that they were not the same person. The Doctor had lived and experienced two centuries that John hadn't, and John had lived five years the Doctor hadn't. Top of that, John was half human – and a bit affected by someone called Donna, apperently – and the Doctor had regenerated. They were like brothers, who shared pretty much the same childhood memories, but nothing more. They may have been the very same once, but not anymore, she knew that much.

The TARDIS had landed in Rose's office, John claimed as they stepped outside. With a hurt look on his face he walked up to the desk and picked up a photo, picturing the two of them.

The Doctor glanced at him, then straigthened his back and started to scan the area with his screwdriver.

_Oh, he really must have loved her,_ Clara thought as she leaned against the TARDIS wall. He probably still did. The hurt and guilty look hadn't left his eyes since they'd landed in the Tyler mansion. He wore it like a mask, hiding it with false smiles and energetic shoutouts. But John didn't seem so very happy either. Of course, he'd lost the woman he loved and the only man who could save her, was _also_ a man she loved. If they found her, the Doctor could take her away from him again. That couldn't be very nice to know.

But this Rose, she wouldn't just leave him now, would she? Even if she saw how much the Doctor loved her..? Tilting her head, Clara searched for a wedding ring on Johns finger, but couldn't find any. That was good news for the Doctor, right?

"_Sooo_", she started by dragging out the _o_. "You and Rose, 'you married?" She walked over to John and watched the photos of them holding hands and smiling, but no wedding ring. Hiding a smirk, she glanced back at the Doctor – who pretended to be very busy scanning the room.

"Not _married_", John muttered.

"Engaged?"

"... No." He waited before he answered, as if he tried to come up with a better way to describe it. Clara nodded and pretended to absently go through Rose's pens. This John seemed to be an alright fella, but he seemed so... _Angry_? Was that the right word to describe it? Anyway, she wasn't going to investigate his private life, but the Doctor loved Rose as well. She wanted him to know that he at least had a shot with her.

"So, you're just a couple then?" She said and turned to John, mentally putting him against a wall. His eyes flickered nervously as he did his best not to look up at her.

"We... Um..." He cleared his throat. "Is this really of importance right now?" He spun around to face the Doctor. "Found anything yet? Maybe there's other traces in my and Rose's apartment?"

Oh, he so said that just to make the Doctor feel inferior. Clara crossed her arms. Darn. Just as she thought that she had him. But, she added. People could share an apartment without being a couple, and John had only confirmed the first. Yeah, they shared an apartment, but that was just like when they had shared the TARDIS.

"Six months and any trace of energy or technology are pretty much gone", the Doctor muttered as he walked towards them, still looking at his sonic screwdriver as if something would magically show up.

"I know", John said and gave him a we-used-to-be-the-same-duh-look. At least Clara took it that way.

"Although..." the Doctor said and changed some settings. "Something _is_ stronger around the desk."

"What is stronger?" Clara asked and joined him in a leap around the table.

He scratched his neck and put the screwdriver in his jacket pocket.

"Energy", he said in a low voice. "Time energy, to be more precise. Incredibly weak though, I had to turn it up to three hundred thousand, but it doesn't make any sense..." He leaned over the desk and gently let his finger follow some markings that somehow didn't seem to fit in. Why would a desk this expensive, standing in a fancy office, have that many and deep markings as if someone had banged something to it?

"What doesn't make sense?" Clara asked and let her own finger slide over a marking.

"The time energy", the Doctor said suddenly, very loud, and ran back to the TARDIS. "Not many species have the technology or ability to travel in time, even fewer kidnap young women."

Clara ran behind him but stopped in the door. Grinning, she watched him run around in the machine, pressing some buttons and looking for something. This was the Doctor she knew and prefered.

"So, what kind of alien are we dealing with?" she asked and leaned against the doorframe. "The time lords greatest enemies who kidnap blonde women and sends them somewhere else in time?"

"What? No!" He stopped and frowned at her. "That's just stupid. No." He disappeared under the console and pulled out something with a huge grin. "No, this is even stranger; the technology appears to be human.

"Human?" Clara repeated surprised. "What's so weird about it being human?"

"Everything!" He cried as he passed her in the doorway. "Why would humans kidnap humans using time energy?"

Clara opened her mouth to tell him that humans pretty much kidnapped humans every day, maybe not by using time energy, but still. There were a lot of sick minds out there. But then John stepped forward.

"It was six months ago", he said with tired voice. "The time energy may have gotten mixed with all the human technology that is here. We're at Torchwood, they got everything from the 19th century to the 190th. More, even."

The Doctor stopped to give him a small grin. "Exactly. If you were a kidnapper who needed advanced technology, were would be a better place to come than to Torchwood?"

"What is that?" Clara asked and nodded to what he was holding in his hands. It looked like a detector of some sort, with antennas and everything.

"Oh, this", the Doctor said and his grin grew bigger. "This is a little someting I picked up in the 71th century Earth. Usually, I don't take things with me – why would I, I got my sonic screwdriver! – but this little machine, was a real beauty." He put it down on the desk. "You see, by putting a DNA-sample right here–" He pointed at a vitro of glass. "– it will send out an algero-electrical pulse, searching for more of the DNA, but only in great amount, meaning, only the person."

"Algero-electrical?" Clara repeated dumbly.

"Yeah, electrical but with... Uh, that's all in your future, never mind." He was speaking a hundred kilometers per hour. "Anyway, if we put something of Rose's here, like a hair, it will find her."

"But, Doctor..." Clara didn't want to ruin his happiness, but still. "You said there were traces of time energy. What if she's a hundred years back in time? Or two hundred into the future?"

He held up a cable. "I'll connect it to the TARDIS, sonic it so it can take the pressure, and then it will search through all of time and space." He grinned. "But don't worry, it wont find her of every second she have spent here, because if we take a hair from the day she disappeared, it will only search for her from that day and forth." His smile fell slowly. "Well. Uh. That's not really– Uh. Never mind, we'll find her!"

Even John was starting to let a grin spread across his face. Clara laughed and clapped her hands. Then she stiffend.

"But, how great is it's range? I mean, I know we're dealing with human tech but it may be stolen? She could be on Earth or she could be at–... at the Rings of Akhenaten!" she picked the first alien place that came up in her mind.

"Uh." The Doctor lifted it up and checked something underneeth. "It got a range of... Pretty much the size of London..." Then he soniced it, and after some sparkles and burning sounds, he laughed in triumph. "But now it cover's the entire universe. Well. The known part, anyway. Well. The part she should be in. _Well–"_

"Rambling", John reminded him shortly. "Let's find her."

"That's just... Impossible." Clara said slowly. But then again, wasn't travel in time and space as well? The thing about being with the Doctor was that things just stopped being impossible.

"Well, you're my lucky charm", he grinned and then ran to connect the cables between the detector and the TARDIS. The room that just a few minutes ago had felt so silent and sad, was now bursting of hope.

When everything worked the way it was supposed to, _ish_, the Doctor pushed a final button on the TARDIS console and ran out to John and Clara.

John had found a brush Rose had kept in her drawer and taken a hair, just hoping it was something from the day she disappeared. With pounding hearts and held breaths, they stood around the detector – who had a much fancier name, but Clara had already forgotten it – and John held up the hair. Slowly, he put in the vitro, watched as a clear liquid reached up and corroded it.

The machine started to beap, sending a signal to the TARDIS and the trio ran in to the spaceship. Smiling, they looked at the monitor as it started to show the location of Rose Tyler.

Clara giggled and turned to the Doctor, expecting him to laugh with her, but he just stared at the screen. John too.

"What?" she said and felt the joy leaving her very quickly. "What is it?"

"_That_ doesn't make any sense", the Doctor said, a bit irritated.

"What?"

John covered his face with his hands, making Clara real worried.

"What is it, Doctor!?"

"That ship", he said quietly. "The strongest signal leads us to that ship. A ship in orbit above the Earth."

"So?"

"Well, the strongest signal means where she've spent most time, so to speak, and that's on that ship", he said. "Seventy-five years, to be exact. The ship has been in orbit above the Earth for seventy-five years – and she's always been on it."

* * *

**A/N: Hallu. Sorry about the ve-hery lazy update, but my computer kind of broke down (in the middle of nowhere!). No. But seriously. It just went kapouff and the other one, well, it doesn't recognize english as a language so I'm terribly sorry if there's any typos of things like that – but I think I got it right. **

**Next time, you wont have to wait as long. I'm almost done with the story now, you see, but you have atleast fifteen chapters left. Wehey. Rose will be in the next chapter, and it will be confusing BIG TIME but you'll finally kind of understand what's going on. _Well_...**

**Sorry for the lack of Ten in John by the way, and sorry for the fact that he's really annoying. I didn't intend to write him like that, it just happened, and now I kind of can't let it go. **

**ONE LAST THING THOUGH, would you, my lovely readers, like this story to evolve around 11/Rose or John/Rose? Or maybe Clara/Rose, haha? Or none of them. I'd like to see what you want to get out of this story, even though I already have a plan. Well. Kind of. _Well_. Not really, let's just see what happens.**


	11. The Noble way

**A/N: Hello boys and girls and neither and both. So, about what I said about this chapter being confusing before... I guess it's a little bit weird, but it's the next one where things really starts to happen,_ where this shit is going down_. Actually, I've got a few really weird chapters coming up, when things finally starts to get sort of explained.**

**But we're not there yet, or, well, we will be very soon considering I'm leaving for Italy tomorrow and will be gone ten days (without internet-access may be added), so I thought I'd post the other one later today. **

**Ba-bye for now. **

* * *

**- Chapter eleven -**  
**The Noble way**

"He-hey", Mickey laughed and put his hand over hers. "Maybe you should take it a little easy?"

Rose glared at him and then nodded against the bartender, gesturing him to refill her drink. As the liquid once again covered the bottom of her glass, she picked it up with a sweeping gesture and drank it all in one gulp.

Urgh. She didn't like the drink, but right now she needed something strong; back home she'd realized something that made her shiver. Not only had she been sent back in time or whatever was going on, her entire life had been rewritten from this point in life, meaning that she _was_ really nineteen. She was nineteen bloody years old.

Before, she'd had too much on her mind to even see herself clear in the mirror, but now she could see it. She looked so much younger, so much more innocent than she was used to – but it wasn't just the looks, no; the seven years she'd spent growing up in the parallel world was gone. Well, the memories of it was technically still in her mind, but the way she acted didn't cope with what she'd gotten used to.

Everyday, she had fights with her mum – about the most silliest things! She just fought back because she wanted to provoke Jackie, or just show that she was more powerful than the other blonde thought. It didn't really seem sane when she tried to describe it with words, but that was the case. Her nineteen year old self, the teenager who constantly wanted to make a own name, go all rebellious on her mum and had overspeeded hormones who made her cry rivers and feel useless all the time, was suddenly her present again. And oh dear lord, how she hated it.

She tried to act like the grown up she actually was, but it was like somewhere deep in her mind her teenager self fought against that. Her body – _this_ body and brain – was still left in 2005 and behaved like that.

With a moan, she rubbed her temples as she realized that _nothing_ of this made sense. Why couldn't it just go back to normal? Even the parallel world was to prefer compared to this.

"Honestly, babe", Mickey said and blinking, she snapped out her confused thoughts. "What's been going on with you lately? It's like your in another world."

"Oh, I wish", Rose said under breath, too low for him to hear. Taking a deep sigh, she spoke louder. "It's nothing, Mickey. Just a lot going on."

"Just don't tell me it has with that dream to do", Mickey started with a laugh, but went quiet as he saw the look on her face. "Oh, come on, Rose. We all have dreams that seems real sometimes, nothing to get all freaked out about."

She stared down at her empty glass and clenched her teeth. _It's not worth it, it's not worth it._

"Just go and dance, or something, would ya'?" She hissed and she didn't have to meet his eyes to know what look he'd give her. Sputtering something unrecognizable he rose from the chair and left her alone. Just the way she liked it. Yes. Right. Exactly. She wanted to be alone.

Oh darn. Guilt crossed her conscience but when she looked up to find him, he was nowhere to be seen. Feeling very not-by-choice-alone she dropped back onto her chair, not even having to look at the bartender to make him refill her drink. Again.

An hour or so passed, she wasn't really sure. What she was sure on though, was that the number of drinks she'd had was _waaaay_ to many. But instead of taking her mind of her problems for a night, they just made it worse. Alcohol and nervous hormones wasn't a good idea when mixed. Top a disappearing life over that as well, and you probably had the baddest combination like ever.

With her head in her hands she went through it all again. Martha, the only one Rose knew had known the Doctor, was a medical student who technically hadn't even met him yet. Torchwood didn't exist and her dad was dead.

But... Wait. She could have sworn that there was someone else that had been traveling with the Doctor. Hadn't it? Somewhere, back in her mind she... No. Martha Jones was the one and only. Not even–

Wait. There were someone else. Donna. Donna Noble!

The thought exploded in her mind and almost seemed to unlock a leash of memories. Donna, being trapped in the TARDIS. Donna, saving them from Davros. Donna, running around the console. Donna, standing beside the Doctor as he said his final goodbye. But wait, there was more. Donna, standing in a circle of mirrors and...and...something connected to the TARDIS. Something had gone wrong. Around them, people who was working at–

It felt like being strucked by lightning, followed by an extreme headache. She pressed her hands against her forehead and squeeized her eyes shut. Then it was gone. She didn't understand where it had came from, or what it was, but it was gone now.

Suddenly, she felt a lot calmer – although... It actually felt like if she'd forgotten something. What had she been thinking about again? Oh, that's right; Donna. She'd actually tried to reach the read head multiple times since... um. Yeah. Anyway, she hadn't been home or answered her phone once. It all was pretty weird, considering what she'd heard about the chatty woman.

With a sigh she bowed her head. Wherever Donna was, she hoped she'd be home soon. She really needed to talk to another of the Doctor's companions, especially since the other two...wait...the other _one_ had been a huge disappointment.

"Well, who the hell do she think she is?" A woman voice called out louder than necessary. "Coming and complaining about my relationship, when that old spider is as far away from one as you could possibly be!"

_That voice..._

Rose widened her eyes and spun around, just to find a blonde woman walking out of the bar together with Donna Noble, the one and only. She didn't even dare to believe in her own luck.

Gasping, she grabbed her coat and ignored Mickey's shouts from somewhere far away; all she had eyes for was Donna. She ran out of the bar and searched almost panically for the two women. Then she saw them a little bit up the street, saying goodbye to each other.

She started to run as she saw the blonde jump into a cab, while Donna looked around in search for a new one. A new cab came around the corner and with a small shout, she started to run after it, crossing the road without really looking.

But Rose saw.

Still running, she saw how a truck came from the opposite direction. The driver was too slow and the truck too big. Rose screamed Donnas name, made the woman turn around and meet her eyes. Something that looked like recognizition crossed them and she opened her mouth, looking surpsried but was about to say something. But Rose never got to know what she was about to say, because the next moment the truck hit Donna from the side and a terrible scream that made Rose's eyes tear up escaped the woman's lips – then everything went silent. The world seemed to stop as Donnas scream died out.

Rose didn't think about it twice; forcing all the cars to stop, she ran out in the road, hoping to reach Donna before it was too late. Panting, she dropped down on her knees and put an arm under the other womans head, gently brushing her cheek to make her wake up. Slowly, her eyes fluttered open.

"Hey, it's gonna be okay", Rose whispered with a soothing tone. "Just relax and it's gonna be okay." It had to be. She couldn't loose Donna. Even though the terribly selfish thoughts of what would happen if she never found out if Donna could remember the Doctor or not was ghosting in the back of her mind, she choose not to listen to them. Right now, the most important thing was to make sure that Donna lived.

Beside her, someone called for an ambulance. The driver clutched his head and stumbled excuses, while others tried to calm both him and Donna. Rose didn't listen to any of them, all she could focus on was the woman in her arms. She couldn't be the second person to die there, to die because of a stupid car.

Donna opened her mouth and tried to say something, but couldn't make a sound. Her eyes rolled back, but with a twitch she came back again. She was shivering and could barely breathe, and Rose was very aware of the pile of blood that started to spread under her.

"I–", Donna breathed, but then twitched again and made a grimace.

"Schh", Rose calmed her and continued to brush her cheek and hair, hoping that it would give at least some comfort. She was there for her. "You don't have to speak. The ambulance will be here soon."

Donnas eyes filled with tears and she tried to shake her head, but wasn't able to move that much. "I can't go to the hospital", she whispered, and almost seemed to panic. "I'm getting married tomorrow. I cant–", she had to interrupt herself by crying out in agony. "I'm...getting...married." She breathed heavily now and Rose understood that it wasn't long until she didn't breathe at all.

"You'll be fine", she lied, because that was all she could say. Lies. Comforting but stupid, stupid lies.

"I cant– She won't let me–", Donna tried to take anoter breath, but almost ended up choking. "I can't. I'm sorry. I–", she twitched again and then relaxed. Well, not only relaxed, her entire body went numb. A quiet moan could be heard, then Rose closed her eyes, trying to hold back the burning tears, because she knew that Donna Noble would never make a sound again.


	12. Last one standing

**- Chapter twelve -  
Last one standing**

As in trans, Rose sat on her mums old sofa. She hadn't want to leave Donna, but the nurses had pretty much carried her away from the body. _She's gone_, they'd said. _Sorry for your lost, but there was nothing you could have done_. Then they asked if she was a relative, a girlfriend, a wife, a friend...? But Rose hadn't known what to answer. She barely knew the woman, only that she'd been traveling with the Doctor.

"We've got a mutual friend", she'd just said after awhile, very well aware of that she was speaking of Donna in presens, like if she still lived. She just couldn't grip the fact that the energetic woman was gone, erased from Earth itself. She felt numb and nauseous just by the thought.

A soap opera which constantly made her mum gasp could be heard in the background, on a telly that was old even at this year, but she did neither listen nor watch it. All she could think of was poor Donna. That woman had saved the entire multiverse, she'd saved the whole of _reality_ for crying out loud, but now she was dead and all because of a stupid truck on stupid planet Earth. If just the Doctor would have been here, she thought. Then maybe he could go back and they could save her and–

No. That's not how it worked and Rose knew it, but she would have felt so much better with the Doctor by her side. Even when she'd had to watch her dad die – again, may be added – and she'd been everything but okay, then the Doctor had made it all a bit better. She missed him so much her heart ached just by the thought of him.

Staring at her phone, she saw that she had thirteen missed calls from Mickey. But she didn't feel like talking to him right now, no. She needed someone who had known the Doctor, someone who could still remember. Someone who could help her find him, someone powerful... and she knew just the person; Harriet Jones.

Taking a deep breath and then holding it, she started to dial the number to the stubborn woman – well, she dialed the number Harriet had in the parallel universe, hoping that she'd have the same here. She'd called it many times since a day three years ago; when she had accidentally _saved_ the prime minister from worm-looking aliens whose venom could make human skin greenish. Harriet had been very grateful, even though the green tone only would last a month or two, and after a chat with her she'd given Rose her personal phone number, in case of crisis – and oh boy, if this wasn't a crisis then what was?

As she waited for the prime minister to pick up – now there was a strange thought – she turned to her mum and asked her to turn down the volume on the telly. As usual, her Mum pressed the wrong button and accidently changed channel. A reporter who walked down a beach in Thailand, talking about the tsunami that had hit the shores just a little more than a year ago, filled the screen.

"The other button", Rose mouthed slightly irritated. But then the reportage changed and Rose's heart stopped.

A picture of Harriet Jones covered the screen as a female voice informed them of the former prime ministers sudden death, just a few moments ago.

"During a meeting with the current prime minister, Harriet Jones abruptly fell to the ground. Even though a doctor was available at their location, there was nothing that could be done. By the time the ambulance reached them, the former prime minister was already lost due to the heart attack. A memorial ceremony will be hold in–"

Her mum finally found the right button to press and changed back to her soap opera.

"Horrible that is", she said and shook her head. "Your heart stops for a second and poof, you're gone." She sighed deeply before she turned to face her daughter. "Who are you calling, sweetheart?"

Rose felt completely numb.

An indescribable feeling of cold started to spread across her chest as she just stared at the screen, without really seeing it. She'd tried to make Donna Noble remember, but she had died. Then she'd tried to contact Harriet Jones, but she'd died as well.

Almost scared to move, she stopped the call and carefully let the phone go in to her pocket. Oh God. _Oh God_. Was someone watching her? Was someone spying on her, right now? What if someone had in some way sent her back, stopped her from meeting the Doctor, and now did everything in their power to make it stay that way? But why would anyone do that? Was it even possible? _Time can be rewritten_, a little voice in her head said. Yeah, but could it be controlled?

Different conspiracy theories started take place in her mind and she got troubles breathing.

Nothing made sense. What would anyone ever win on doing that? Maybe this whole thing was a coincidence? No, it wasn't. She knew that much; with the Doctor, there were no such things as a coincident. Everything happened for a reason, because someone or something wanted it to.

Rose spun around and stared with widened eyes out the window, as if she expected to see someone there, but it was nothing but dark. Still, someone could be hiding in the shadows. Something could still be–

Before she was able to finish her thought, the world around her started to move. The ground shook, causing her to lose balance and fall into the wall, hitting her head on the edge. Some of the chairs fell over, a cable disconnected from the telly, causing it to flicker in black and white and somewhere she could hear the sound of glass breaking. Photos, both those on the walls and on the bureau, fell to the ground together with one of her grandmas old vases.

Then it just stopped. As quickly as the quake had come, it disappeared and left nothing but a messy apartment.

Rose still sat on the ground and stared at her surroundings, not really understanding what had happened. An earthquake? Or had someone dropped a bomb? She tried to remember what it had felt like when she'd been to London during the world wars with the Doctor, but that was nothing like this, no. This was something else. Something felt familiar though, like a memory bursting up to the surface–

_Oh god, Mum! _

Dropping everything else, she flung up on her feet and stared at the sofa where Jackie just had been sitting, but she wasn't there. Now, earthquakes didn't kidnap people, did they?

Sure, she could have left the room right before the quake, just to visit mrs Hannigan or went out with the trash or… Rose closed her eyes. A twisting feeling in her stomach made her nauseous, telling her that something wasn't right, and she always listened to that feeling because that feeling was always correct.

"Mum?" she shouted, trying to force herself not to panic, but when no answer came it turned out to be a real challenge. "Mum!" With an almost pleading voice, she screamed for her mum and ran around in the apartment, but Jackie was nowhere to be found.

_She went out,_ she thought and nodded rapidly for herself. _She just went to mrs Hannigan_.

But to think like that was just a waste of time; she just _knew_ that something was wrong. Every inch of her body told her to run and never stop, but at the same time it felt like… like she was bound to something, unable to move – which was silly of course, since she could move perfectly fine.

Then she noticed the telly. The soap opera was gone and the black and white flicker filled the screen, together with a horrible, kind of broken sound. A shiver went up her spine and in the next second, she ran out of the apartment. She didn't stop until she was on the courtyard and it wasn't until then she realized that the dark night had been replaced by daylight. A cloudy sky covered London, but it was as light as on lunchtime. _How?_ It had been dark just a few minutes ago! With a pounding heart, she looked down on her watch... but it wasn't there._What?_ Hadn't she been wearing a watch? She could've sworn that she'd been wearing a watch.

Ouch, her head hurt. It was that terrible headache she'd had a few days ago. _Wait_. What day? The day she'd went on a trip! But she couldn't quite remember it... how come she forgot a whole day?

The ache made her squeak and she fell to the ground. While crouching and pressing hands against her head, flashes of different memories passed through her mind. Memories – _important_ memories – that she couldn't remember. Or could she?

She gave out a small scream of agony and squeezed her eyes shut. She could've sworn that the whole ground had shook again. Looking up, she realized that she wasn't even any longer at the Powell Estate. She was standing at Trafalgar Square, _the_ Trafalgar Square, in the middle of the day but there wasn't a living human to be seen nearby. There was on the other hand, an alien. A time lord, to be more precise, _her_ time lord.

"Doctor!" She cried out of relief. "John!" She rose on shaky legs and started to run against the familiar face, not caring if it came with two hearts or one. He was here.

But the cold gaze he was giving her made her slow down and her smile fell. It wasn't him. She didn't know how she could know that; she just did. The cold, dead and dark gaze looked right through her and made her shiver. It wasn't the Oncoming Storm, this was something else. Something that wasn't her Doctor.

It still looked like him though; the suit, the coat and that wonderful, gravity-defying hair. But his eyes were different. Not much, but enough to make her notice. Enough to make her take a step back.

Was someone controlling him? What if it was Cassandra? Oh lord, what if she'd taken over his body again? An even scarier thought filled her with horror; what if it was the Slitheen? With Cassandra she might get him back, but the Slitheen _killed_ their victims and used their skin as a suit.

"I'm not Slitheen", whoever pretended to be the Doctor said with a cold smile. "I am so much more."

Oh God. It could read her mind. Rose tried to take a deep breath and reminded herself that panicking would not help.

"Really?" she said defiantly. "Then why can't you show yourself? Why do you need another to hide behind?"

"Because it's making you nervous", the thing said and was suddenly very close to Rose, just a few steps away. "I like it when you're nervous. I like it when you're scared." The hollow tone made her shiver.

"Yeah?" she said. "How's this for scared?" Then she punched his jaw as hard as she could – but her fist just went through him, as if he was a ghost. But he wasn't that, no. He was just a projection, a projection getting weaker. How could she know that? Well, because the second she touched him she remembered.

"Took you long enough", the projection snarled. "What are you going to do now? Kill me?"

"No", Rose said and shook her head. Her heart was pounding and her brain tried to cope with the shock. "I'm going to wake up, because this isn't real. It's all fake – this _entire_ _world_ is fake!" she blinked away the tears of both relief and horror; relief, that the Doctor was real, that she wasn't mad, but horror for what would happen to her now. "I remember it all. I remember the ship, and the things they did, and _you_. ALIYA, I remember you and what you told me, and the fact that this–", she gestured around her. "– this is _just a dream_."

* * *

**A/N: Bam boom oh snap. I gave it all away there, directly in the title, but no one noticed. Mwahahaha. Or well, the most of you probably noticed but still. Kind of fun giving the whole plot away in the title, even thought it could be seen both ways. This chapter was really confusing, I get that, but I tried to make it _confusing_ but _underst_****_andable_. I hope you got it all. Ish. The next, uh, five chapters will be explaining it. So if you don't get it after that, you're welcome to ask.**

**I'm a bit curious though; did you see it coming? With it being a dream, I mean. I think most of you did, but those that didn't get it, what did you think it was? In the beginning, some people thought it had something to do with the angels, but it's never that simple, is it? Mwahaaa.**

**Fear not though, 'cause I've got like half the story left to tell. This is not just a dream she dreamt over a night, lying in her bed in the Tyler mansion, nooo. This is way bigger.  
**

**For the next ten days, I'll be in Italy without internet access. I'll post the new chapter (which will be the very last before the whole explaining-part, promise) as soon as I get back. Thank you so much for reading. :)**


	13. The Dream Ship

**A/N: To quote the Doctor; I'm sorry, I am so, _so_ sorry. I went to Italy, came back and suddenly my family was all spontaneous and wanted to travel up and down the Swedish west coast–which is about as boring as it sounds. But now I'm sort of back and will try to finish this story before the end of August.  
Anwaaay, a great thank you to all of you amazing followers who still sticks with me! And an even greater thank you to those who have favorited and reviewed; everytime my phone tells me I've got mail I literally fly to it in case someone said something about my story. You all deserve a trip in the TARDIS, really.  
This certain chapter is something I'm very insecure about–if you now can put it that way–which made me delay it even more. But it's better to just upload it and then carry on, so that's what I'm doing. Although, the following chapters have been so ultra freaking hard to write because I really want to get it all right, but I hope you can enjoy them soon.  
I'm gonna stop talking now but before you read on, just one last;_ thank youuuu!_**

* * *

**- Chapter thirteen -****  
****The Dream Ship**

"But, I don't understand," Clara said slowly. "Why would someone take her and then keep her in a spaceship, just above Earth, for seventy-five _years_? How did she even go back seventy-five years to begin with?"

"I don't know," the Doctor answered truthfully, but the look on his face made her shiver. Something was very wrong.

"What kind of spaceship is that?" John asked. "I've never seen the type."

The Doctor nodded as he put it trough some of the TARDIS archives. _If not even he knows, then it must be one hell of a ship_, Clara thought warily.

"White Diamond Cruiser Type 08975-9K," the Doctor said with a tone of surprise. "Better known as the Dream Ship, one of its kind and is supposed to stay hidden from the people as well as the records… it's supposed to never have existed. Carries a crew of a little more than five hundred plus about two hundred patients. Built in the year of 5.5/Apple/23–"

"Slash _apple_?" Clara cried but the two Doctors ignored her, too busy staring at the screen.

"–and got an unusual high amount of artron energy," the two-hearted one continued.

"So, they can also travel in time," John stated.

"_It doesn't make any sense!_" the Doctor cried for what seemed to be the hundredth time and pushed some more buttons, but the screen didn't change. Irritated, he scanned it with his sonic screwdriver, but to judge by the look of his face Clara thought it didn't give him the answers he wanted.

"We have to go up there," John said firmly and straightened his back. He left the TARDIS but was back within a minute–holding a gun.

"Whoa, there!" the Doctor exclaimed and took a step in front of the console as to protect his beloved ship from the weapon. "I do not allow guns on my ship! Not after... _accidents_."

"We're going up to a spaceship with no information of the crew's species or intentions," John protested. "And Rose is up there with them! I hate guns just as much as you–" Clara couldn't help but to snort at the fact. "–but if this is what I need in order to protect her? Then so be it."

The Doctor glared at him, but could obviously not go against the Rose-argument. Then he glanced at his sonic screwdriver with a sad look on his face.

"He's right, Doctor," Clara said gently. "What matters now is to get back Rose, right?"

They followed John with their eyes as he walked around in the TARDIS and examined the new desktop theme. The gun rested uncomfortably in his grip, but he held it with a steady hand.

"Yeah," the Doctor said absently before lowering his voice. "It's just that I don't trust myself with a gun when it comes to Rose and danger–even less him."

Clara didn't know how to respond, but since the time lord once again turned back to the monitor she didn't need to. With a thoughtful look on her face, she watched the two men walk around in the machine, restless and worried, all because of this Rose. She had to be very special.

With a heavy heart she thought of how miserable the Doctor would be when he had to leave her _(again?)_. He knew as well as her that he couldn't stay, right? With a pounding heart, it went up for her that this probably wasn't the case. He'd been willing to sacrifice his life multiple times just to reach her, so why would he simply leave when he finally found her?

But he couldn't just break John and Rose up to be with her? He realized that they loved each other too, right?

She was just about to ask, but then the TARDIS landed and both men ran out the door even before the wooshing sound had died out, off to save the girl they both loved.

With a somewhat heavy sigh, she followed them–just to stop with a frown just outside the ship. Still with her back against it, she slowly closed the doors and examined the place with a dubious look on her face.

She'd expected to see creatures from the most far off galaxies, aliens that looked everything but human or robots that killed every living thing they saw–but as she stepped outside all she could see was a broken ship.

The lights were off, making it look dark and spooky, but that was not all. They stood in a corridor completely painted in a shining, clinical white. Many walls were just simply made out of glass, making it easy to look inside every room, but most of the glass was broken, laying in a thousand pieces just as the day they had fell.

But the creepiest thing was the silence. On the pictures the TARDIS had shown, the ship had appeared to _very_ big–which still seemed to be the correct idea, since the corridor seemed to go on forever–but not a single sound could be heard. She thought the TARDIS could be scarily silent sometimes, but it was nothing compared to this. Not even any engines could be heard. The entire ship seemed dead.

"So," she said in an attempt to break the terrible silence. "The ship broke down, yeah? That's why it's been here for so long?"

"What makes you say that?" the Doctor asked inattentively as he looked at some scans on his screwdriver. John on the other hand, seemed to be on red alert. He stared around in the corridor before walking around the box with a wary look in his eyes.

"Um." She looked around the corridor and gestured with her hands. "No engines, no crew, no anything. It's like a ghost ship."

"Exactly," the Doctor said and met her eyes. She just stared at him in confusion, but before she was able to ask what he meant, John called on them from the other side of the TARDIS. They ran around and found him sitting crouched, examining something on the ground.

Clara let out a sharp gasp and took a step back as she realized that the thing on the ground was a body. A _dead_ body. A dead human body.

The skin had dried out and was now in a brown-ish, trunk-looking colour and shape. Where the eyes should've been there were only dark holes, sunken into the skull. He or she had been wearing a white jumpsuit with the same logo on it as was painted on the walls; two letters, _'J D'_, in the middle of a black and white octagon. It didn't say what it stood for, though.

The Doctor scanned the body and looked at the results with anything but surprise in his eyes.

"Human," he said shortly. "He's been dead for seventy-five years."

"What did he die of?" Clara asked quietly. There were no signs of struggle or wounds, which made it itch in the back of her mind, a low buzzing telling her to run from the ship and never return. But she clenched her teeth and stood still, knowing that these two men wouldn't give up until they found Rose Tyler–so neither would she.

"A virus," the Doctor said as he rose and scanned the air. "An airborne virus, it would seem… from the planet Clom."

"_Airborne?_" Clara cried out in alert and pressed her lips together, as if that would help.

John rose from the body and looked concerned as well, but the Doctor let out a sigh of relief.

"This ship has gotten rid of, long time ago," he explained and put down the screwdriver. "We're safe."

Clara nodded in a somewhat embarrassed movement, her heart still pounding from the adrenaline.

"Yes, but what about Rose?" John said with a stiff voice. He glanced at the Doctor who just stared back in horror and with Clara right behind they rushed run down the corridor. For every room they reached, the Doctor held up his sonic screwdriver and searched for traces of her bio-signature.

Clara tried to push away the thoughts of how they would react if they found her, long dead and looking like the body back at the TARDIS. It would break them, wouldn't it? But even if they did find her, even if she was alive… she had somehow traveled back and spent seventy-five years aboard the ship. She'd be an old woman that had already lived her life… her days were counted.

Room after room they searched for her, all feeling a tiny bit relieved when the scan told them none of the bodies had once been Rose–but that feeling only lasted a second since in the next moment they were running and scanning new rooms with new bodies.

"Tell me, how could a virus from Clom get on a ship from Earth, _above _Earth_?_" Clara asked after awhile, panting for air. Partly because asking questions that could make them ramble maybe would ease their minds a bit, partly because nothing of this made sense to her.

"They must've picked up an Abzorbaloff," John answered with a stressed voice as he pushed up the door to a new room. The Doctor burst in, scanned it, then shook his head and they were off again.

"_Abzorba–what now_?"

"Abzorbaloff," he repeated. "Big, green aliens from Clom who absorbs other life forms and sort of makes them a part of their body. They take them from their original form and then watches them die as nothing but a brief shadow on their green flesh…" Okay, so making them ramble about that maybe wasn't her best idea. "It must've taken awhile for the virus to adapt to the human bodies," he continued. "But once it did..." He shook his head. "Then there were no stopping it."

Clara just stared at him, then at the bodies who once had been humans. Some of them lay on the floor, some sat on chairs and some still had their–long-rotten but still–food still in front of them. It all must have happened incredibly fast, taking them in their normal day routine.

As they reached the end of the corridor, they stepped into something that looked like an elevator but with no doors. They stared at the console for a few seconds before the Doctor made up his mind.

_**[You are now on Level 7 - Personnel and resources]**_

_[Level 10 - Visitors]_

_[Level 9 - Control Level]_

_[Level 8 - Personnel and resources]_

_[Level 7 - Personnel and resources]_

_[Level 6 - Medic Level]_

_[Level 5 - Patient and Dream Level]_

_[Level 4 - Patient and Dream Level]_

_[Level 3 - Patient and Dream Level]_

_[Level 2 - Prisoner and Waiting Level]_

_[Level 1 - Engines]_

_[Level 0]_

_**[Please pick a Level and make sure every object is in the cabin, thank you]**_

The Doctor pressed the button saying _[Level 10 - Visitors]_ and there was a flash of light. Before Clara could even blink, they were standing in another cabin and at the beginning of a new corridor.

"How..." she stared but realized that it didn't really matter.

"Short distance teleport," the Doctor answered anyway, in his stressed but informational voice. "Just a few floors–or well… _levels_ up."

"Visitors?" John grunted. "You really think they'd put her there?"

The Doctor glared at him one more time before they ran out in the corridor and searched Level 10, just as scared every time they saw a new body. After awhile, they stumbled across a room with a group of people sitting in a circle around a small statue and with their palms up, like if they'd been praying when they died.

Clara felt tears burn in her eyes as she watched the horrible scene. An entire crew, dead, in the matter of seconds–and no one had even come looking for them. The ship was untouched.

"Pete should've been here," John said quietly for himself as they continued down the corridor. "He somehow always managed to search in the right place."

"Pete!" The Doctor exclaimed and Clara recognized the manic voice. "Petedy-Pete from Pete's World! Where is he, the old man? Head of Torchwood and father to the missing girl… shouldn't he be leading an expedition or something?"

John stopped so abruptly that the other two had to go back a few steps to face him. It looked like someone had kneed him in the stomach.

"I–I tried…" he started but his voice died out. He stared down at his feet and grew strength from a deep breath. When he spoke his tone was low and intense "I tried to stop it. She couldn't go through the whole thing again, so I tried, I really, really did, but I– I–..." His voice faded away and he looked up to face the Doctor. Guilt could've been written with ink on his forehead. Clara felt a shiver down her spine and she tried to take the Doctors hand, but his fingers were curled into fists.

"What happened to him?" he asked in a cold voice. "Where is he?"

"He died." It was barely a whisper. "He died in a car accident."


End file.
